ATOM.

shadowsurrounded.

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           there is a truth clea discovered soon after she met stephen: to love him was to make herself uniquely vulnerable to him. vulnerable because he has a power to hurt her unlike anyone else, power she no doubt holds over him as well. power they have both abused in their hurt and their fear of opening themselves up to everything they are around each other. fear. for all her posturing, all her bravado and attempts at neutrality, she is afraid. afraid of opening herself up, afraid of getting her heart broken, afraid of turning into that family she so loathes. and it is that fear that holds her back, that fear that has them both in this stalemate in which they now find themselves.

           there’s too much left to say, even now, when the conversation has wound its way down. she could tell him the truth: the hardest thing i’ve ever had to to is learn to live my life without you. or she could not. she could close herself off, the way she has taught herself to over the years. it would be easy to do so; being closed off encompasses most of her childhood. but at the end of it all, they have never done easy. it is difficult and messy and all encompassing, but never easy.       thank you.      there is a world of unspoken words in the two ones she manages to speak, and the sorceress’s hand touches his for the briefest of moments, feather light and quick before pulling back. the feel of his skin on her’s still scalds her skin, and yet, if she knows herself even the slightest, she will learn to love the burn, because she loves him too much. 

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              the touch of her hand against him stilled the shaking that was near constant if only for a moment, causing him to swallow silently. he would always come back to her, even if they both agreed to move on, or — whatever their decisions were, she had a part of him he’d never get back, she always would. closing his eyes he’d frown, shaking his head before twining their fingers together, his action marred with hesitation, an olive branch hidden in just the little touch alone. he missed her, wanted her.. needed her, and he always would. they’ve been together for centuries, knew everything about each other, had telepathic rings —

so why was it so hard, for that olive branch to not be burned to a crisp? why is it that the constant burn upon his back from the scar her uncle gave him, burn hotter when she was near? was that a good thing, a bad thing? he could bear the weight of the pain of the world, the responsibility of earth-616, but she.. she was his kryponite, something that would without fail cause him to fall apart at the gentlest of touches.     i’ve never stopped loving you,   ”   he didn’t know why he was speaking,     and i never will. you are without a doubt in the fiber of my being, the most important woman i’ve ever met.     why was he still talking? he swallowed, eyebrows furrowing as he took  his hand away, moving towards his well-worn desk — the same one that he sat at, when something was weighing heavy on his mind.   “   no matter our decision on.. us, you will always have me.  



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